Getting out of a bad friendship group
If I am quite honest friends are the most frustrating and annoying things on the planets. You can go through really rough times and some happy times as well. What this post is going to be about bad friends who make you feel the worst. So, here are some tips on how to get out of that downwards spiral of a friendship.
1) If someone is trying to manipulate you – When someone expects you to change because you don’t meet their criteria it probably means that you aren’t real friends. For example, if you have different beliefs, they shouldn’t try to inflict their beliefs. Real friends accept you for who you are.
2) Control – If that friend is that grey cloud above you which is making you do things you don’t want to do. End that friendship! You are a free person. For example, if this one friend doesn’t like one of your other friends they might try and break up your friendship with them. Don’t let one friend destroy your friendships with others.
3) Blackmail – “Don’t be friends with her otherwise I won’t be your friend”. The most sickening and vile thing I’ve ever heard before. Again a link with control.
4) Personal attacks – When a friend uses your other friends to get at you. This is the friend stealer. When your other friends are used to attack you and they are oblivious to it.
How to break the cycle?
You aren’t with your friends every second of the day so you will have your space. Perhaps you are in different classes. Speak to your peers in your other classes/courses you may just click suddenly. Take part in social activities such as going to youth centres or evening classes, you’ll be bonding with people with other people with the same interests as yourself. By socialising with people outside your immediate friendship group will be an escape from a negative environment. Maybe new friends will replace the old ones. Word of advice is to never dump then return to friends as they’ll just see you as a user who is friends with them when they aren’t wanted. This could lead to having no friends at all which would be awful.
Becoming more assertive
- Stand for what you believe. Don’t push your morals and beliefs aside because of a friend. Friends will come and go.
- Voice your opinions. Don’t be rude or insulting when doing so otherwise you’ll look arrogant. Showing strength in voicing opinions will show that you won’t take stick from people.
- Say ‘no’ to people – Saying yes shows that you are a follower not your own person. Being able to say ‘no’ shouldn’t make you feel guilty.