Thursday, 31 July 2014

How to be Me (a complete and utter idiot)

From what I have established about my life is that I'm a complete and utter idiot. I sometimes wonder how I even have friends because if I could be friends with myself I'm sure it wouldn't go down too well... I mean I would annoy myself beyond the point of it being bearable. 

So here are some tips if you want to be just like me (a complete idiot).
  1. When it comes to having you photo taken, don't look serious nor happy. Look like you've either been possessed or you've had too many sweeties and are completely bonkers because of all the additives and E-numbers malarkey. 
  2. Say foolish things - I'm notorious for saying things without rational thought. For example the other day I asked my dad how to grow an apple tree and he replied the seeds from the apple. I mean I didn't believe it and I still don't fully believe. As a child I always did put the seeds in the garden and they never grew into a beautiful meadow of apple trees. 
  3. Act like the smallest things are the biggest of disasters - I go overboard over the smallest of things. For example if a bug flew into my room I would refuse to go within miles of the room before I am convinced it is gone. 
  4. Don't apply makeup properly - It doesn't matter if your eye-shadow isn't blended in properly and you look like a 3 year old has done your makeup. After all the only important thing is that you are confident and happy with your appearance. At the end of the day I'm no makeup artist so I'll just leave the makeup business to the professionals.
  5. Do things because of impulse - I do things without the slightest thought of the consequences. Almost like that 'You only live once' malarkey everyone used to believe in. Again, this is notorious of me. Impulsive behaviours is what lead me to the bright colours in my hair.
  6. Listen to anything generic - I don't keep up with all things music. When I find an artist I like I will listen to them forever. So I just listen to the top charts so I think I'm all hip when it comes to musical taste.
  7. Eat your sorrows away - Eat anything remotely chocolately or of a ice-cream substance and just devour until you've drowned your sorrows in fat.
  8. Don't open you eyes in the sunshine - I literally cannot open my eyes in the sunlight so nail your squinting eyes. I probably need lessons in how to keep my eyes open when I'm exposed to the sun.
  9. Do weird things - Unexplainable actions are great, no one asks. I do things my friends classify as a 'Molly thing' like running around like a riot or rolling across the grass. I must have lost my marbles ages ago.
  10. Do anything for comedic circumstances - Whenever I want to do something ridiculous I do it and post it to any media platform with a justifiable explanation so I don't feel silly when really I am. 
TOP TIP // Just be silly and live life without regret. If people don't find you interesting and fun just say

(source gifboom, giphy and tumblr)

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